Humility Hurts

I just read Anne Jackson's post about Pride and Humility. In it she quotes out of a book she is reading; A Circle of Quiet.

Here is the quote that she quoted:

The Greeks had a word for ultimate self-consciousness which I find illuminating: hubris: pride: pride in the sense of putting oneself in the center of the universe. The strange and terrible thing is that this kind of total self-consciousness invariably ends in self-annihilation. The great tragedians have always understood this, from Sophocles to Shakespeare. We witness it in history in such people as Tiberius, Eva Peròn, Hitler.

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I was timid about putting forth most of these thoughts, but this kind of timidity is itself a form of pride. The moment that humility becomes self-conscious, it becomes hubris. One cannot be humble and aware of oneself at the same time. Therefore, the act of creating – painting a picture, singing a song, writing a story – is a humble act? This was a new thought to me. Humility is throwing oneself away in complete concentration on something or someone else.

I am thinking WOW! Humility is throwing oneself away in complete concentration on something or someone else! Amazing, and I think....What if we all did that? What if we all threw ourselves away on our gifts, or serving others, or even better yet: God! What if we all lived out humility the way it is talked about here! Whoa wait, what if I lived it out? How would my life change??? How would others lives change? What about my relationship with God?

One can not be humble and aware of oneself at the same time!!! Of course we can't be aware of ourselves...that would be PRIDE. This feels like a duh moment for me, so bear with me. Just think about it though. When we are humbled that is when God is apparent. When God is made big, and when He shows His power in our lives. So of course we can't be aware of ourselves, and still see His power!

God has been working on the pride in our home, and teaching us humility. When my husband could no longer work I knew that first day that God would be doing things in our lives that would stretch my faith. I knew that more likely than not it would be hard to take. So I started praying that God would help me to be humble. I have not fully reached that point. I still feel like accepting help is a failure on our part, that it makes me worthless. (Honesty is flowing tonight people~beware!) But I am willing to be open to it, and I definitely see it as God moving, showing His power, and giving His grace. I will take all of His grace I can get. The thing I didn't realize about humility though is this: It hurts. It's really hard. It doesn't feel the way I thought it would. There will always me more to learn...oh did I mention it hurts? Or that it's hard? :D

I'm tried in more ways than one tonight so I'm going to rest in His grace. I just felt like throwing this out there to you. I would love it if you threw your thoughts back.