Tonight we went swimming. It was a blast!
Of course, God is so amazing He had to use a fun, everyday type thing to teach me a BIG lesson!!
You see, Lily loves the water, and by the time we are ready to leave she thinks she can swim on her own. Yet, when we begin swimming she always freaks out that something will happen to her, and therefore she screams. Tonight was no different we took her out and she loved it, floating around in her life vest. Then it came time to put her just a few feet away, and let her kick to me. Good practice, right? :) Anyway, the thing that really struck me was her response. She of course kicked, and screamed, and panicked, and came straight into my arms. Then she said, "Mommy don't let go of me again! I'm scared!" She had never vocalized how she felt, although it was always apparent. I told her that I needed to let go of her so that she could learn to do it on her own. She repeated herself, "Mommy don't let go of me again! I'm scared!"
That is when it really hit me. We are like that with God! We say no I don't want to let go of what I know, what is comfortable, normal, safe, or trustworthy to us! We don't want to step outside of what we know we can hang on to for safety (be it mental, spiritual, or physical). I know there are so many safety nets in my life!!!
Then came the real kicker.... I took her back out a ways, and I said to her, "Lily, I love you. Because I love you, you have to trust me, you will be ok. You may be scared but I will be right here. All you have to do is come toward me, and you will be safe." She calmed down, I let go, and she kicked right to me. Here is my major "smacked up side the head" moment. God does the same thing with us! He makes us, in various ways, let go of what is "safe" to us. He draws us out of our comfortable place into the water, then says, "Ok, now trust me. But, don't just trust me for the heck of it, trust me because I love you. Know that you will be scared, and that's ok. All you have to do is swim straight to me, and you will be safe. I will take care of you, and I will be right here because of my love for you.
I cannot imagine putting Lily in the water and leaving her to flail around. I have to be there. I have to let her go under the water, but also I have to keep her safe. I needed her to know that her safety was not in staying on the shore, but in knowing that I love her so much that I would be right there. That she may be scared, but that she would be ok if she trusted me. Father is just the same with us!
Trust is a big issue with me, and God is wildly testing that these days. I'm sure I will forget this tiny lesson, and need to be reminded over and over again. I am very thankful for tonight's Ah Ha moment though.