Friday, January 28, 2011

Life Changes....So Do I

I have also updated the Who I Am page here on my blog.
As life changes so do I. So please if you haven't, take a minute to get to know a little bit about me.

Perfectionism Causes Fear

As I have worked to change my blog, and my thinking about my blog, I have been praying for wisdom, for direction, and for His will concerning this space. I have a bit of an idea about what Father is asking of me. Yet, I have been hesitating. It seems there is more I should know about making this space His. This morning I was wondering though, what if the hesitation is not in questioning what He wants anymore, but in my need for perfection? I know what He is asking of me. I know that Father wants me to make this space in my life a place of encouragement. A place where scripture flows through it. A place that points all (including myself) right to Him. Easy enough right? :P

So if I know all of these things, it occurred to me that I must be delaying because I am letting my perfectionism get in the way. In the last week I have formed several blog posts ~ in my head. Why have I not put them here? Well, there is the excuse about how drained I have felt this week....but it is just an excuse right? Really though, I know it is because I want this place to be perfect before I come in, and share. Perfectionism, is a nasty thing! It delays the Father's work in your life!  I don't know how it effects you, but for me perfectionism usually results in a paralyzing fear. If I feel I cannot get something done totally right, then I am afraid of starting it at all. Tell me I'm not alone in this, people! Another way it hinders me is, I spend so much time trying to make something perfect,then I lose sight of what God is calling me to focus on in the first place!  Yet this has never been how God has works in my life. Why I thought it would be this time is beyond me :D  Father doesn't wait for us to be perfect before He shares with us, so why I thought that was the case this time....I have no idea!

So here is the thing, I am going to dive back into this blog. Work through my fears, and set to work doing what Father is asking of me!!

 You will also notice some changes in format. I want a place that looks right to the Father, and I have noticed that the less cluttered my blog is the more I can just focus on the words. So I thought I would try keeping it simple for a while.

Here is my question to you.....
What things has Father asked of you that you are delaying because of perfectionism or fear???

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Steps, and a Video

This is how I feel at this very moment. Only pull.

It has been a day of ups and downs. Good, slow, simple moments interrupted by stressful, disobedient, lonely moments. I wonder what it is that I am doing wrong? Why this struggle of maintaining a peaceful life ( 1 Peter 3:11 Turn away from evil and do good Search for peace, and work to maintain it.) and the rhythms of grace
( Matthew 11:30  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.")

Oh to live freely and lightly! What leads me away from the quietness I so long for?

I am not firmly set. That is my biggest problem. My feet sink and slide, allowing me to be pushed and pulled in every direction. I don't see who I am or what I am to be doing with myself, my time. So I allow myself, my time, to be thrown about aimlessly. Only to hit and miss what my Father is asking of me.

I am not firm in Him, seeking Him for my every movement. Leaning towards His voice for my daily instruction. I seem to take a hit and miss approach for that too.

My heart beats wildly in panic as I try to gain control of the chaos around me. As I rush from one thing to the next attempting to fulfill my idea of what my place in this world should be. The idea that seems to be handed to every woman out there: keep busy, keep moving, there is no stopping, no rest. It's your job to keep running.

But is it really? Or should I be still? Planted firmly in my Father for my steps to be chosen my Him? Even the small filling the dishwasher, daily jobs, day in and day out steps. Should I be daily taking my cues from the whisper of  His spirit in my ear? Seeking Him with my every move to make sure that all my steps are given by Him? Father when will I understand that my every move should be a response to the sound of your voice in my life? When will I see that the only steps I should be taking are toward you? That all my moments are meant to be given back to you? Teach me that.
(This was taken directly out of my personal journal.)

On another note: Ann Voskamp writes the blog Holy Experience. I have found her writing to be nothing short of the Father speaking grace through her words. She just released a book: One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Freely Right Where You Are.  I could tell you about it, but she does a much better job at that! Please watch the video. I did not plan for it to go with this post, but  Father knows what He is doing! I hope it challenges you. Enjoy.

One more note: There are still changes coming to this blog-even still the possibility of a blog address change. I have just been slow going at this, as I have still been seeking what God wants me to do in this space.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

To Better Encourage You

It's a new year, and my thoughts are in complete chaos! I have been putting a lot of time into praying, thinking, and trying to prepare for what God has for me in the next year. There are some changes He is asking of me. Some I have already started, and some I am still trying to figure out how to execute. I have many blog post ideas running rampant in my head. I am going to start working on them soon, and am very excited about it!

One thing I wanted to make you aware of is; this blog will be changing. I have been very impressed by Father that there is so much He wants from this space in my life. So much that I could be giving, and even receiving through it, and so much that He is asking of me. In order to do that better I am spending some time with Him, seeking what He wants for this blog, and then the changes will come.  To better serve my Father in this space I will be making changes to the blog's format, the content, and possibly moving the blog altogether. Hang in there with me, please!! I hope to make this place better as a source of encouragement, praise, learning, study, with a little bit of me thrown in :D

One more thing I wanted to make you all aware of today is a series I have been reading for a while.
A Woman Inspired  is an amazing woman's ministry that has been putting out 31 day blogging series for a few months now. Several wonderful, and well know bloggers are chosen to write 31 days of posts on a topic related to the focus.
Through out the month of November I loved reading one bloggers 31 days of posting on Grace, and am now enjoying the new series. This month the focus is 31 Days of Ministry (Online)
Although I don't read every topic featured I have completely enjoyed, and been encouraged by the blogs that have focused on
and Intentional Parenting

I encourage you to go here and read through the different topics, check them out, and be encouraged!