Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Rich and the Poor

We talked about our money, and giving to the poor this morning. Our church was studying James 5:1-6. We were shown that we are rich (even if you feel poor), comparatively. I have two pages of notes from the sermon it's self, but these are the thoughts I had personally. If you know us you know that having the fiances to live is a struggle. I have been dealing with a lot on my mind lately and money is a part of what explodes up in there on a daily basis. This is a whole different perspective, and I haven't quite worked it all out, but I thought I would share:

People who are poor are necessary to fulfill Jesus' teachings on how to treat people. With out the poor we would avoid a lot of living out the New Testament. Do poor people exist partly to grow us as Christians? Why then do we just assume that God is against us if we struggle financially? What if God's plan for our life is to be poor so that we can challenge others to give and to live out Jesus' teachings? On the flip side of that; Do the rich also exist in our lives to teach and challenge the poor? To teach them contentment and thankfulness??

The thing that gets me the most about this is, are we struggling financially to grow others? I think I would be much more ok with struggling for someone's benefit then because of something I have done, but it does put struggles in a different light to think about it this way. I haven't totally worked out what I think of this yet....just throwing my thoughts out there. I do know that these thoughts do not apply to every person struggling with money. Sometimes it really is the consequences of our own life. I was just thinking of this in perspective of the person that is faithful and responsible and still struggles. I was thinking of this personally, not necessarily as a whole.

Soooo .......tell me what you think!

Monday, January 25, 2010


“The thing about losing a child is that you do not just lose them once, but you go on experiencing the loss of what they would have been.”

-Sarah Williams

This was quoted in the comments of a blog I was reading tonight. The truth of this woman's sadness resonates within me.


I live such a busy life! Sometimes I think if you were to look at me from above all you would see is flashes of color as I run from one place to the next. Ok, so that may be a bit of an exaggeration. Seriously though, I just went from being down a week to being the Roadrunner

I am feeling better than I was. Mostly I lack energy, still feel somewhat weak, and drained, but I'm pushing through.

Friday night was soup, and game night with friends. We all made something, and ended up with: Pistou Soup, french bread, yummy chocolate chip cookies. Then we played Settlers of Catan and Last Word. We got home about 11pm.

Saturday not long after waking up we went to look at a house with my parents. Loved the woodwork, but not sure if it's what they really need. From there we did our shopping, and came home to make BLT Pasta It was so good! Healthy too, which is always a plus for me. I tried to take a nap, but did not succeed. Then Hubby and I had our bi weekly date! We tried a new food joint; Five Guys It was really yummy. I don't think it would be a favorite but I could probably eat there a few times a year! From there we went to Barnes and Noble, where my Hubby bought me a beautiful soft leather journal. I had a lot of fun looking at books for my daughter. I finally choose Amelia Bedelia I remember reading it as a young girl, and my little girl is just as happy with her. We got back fairly late, and each did our own thing for a while at home then we watched a movie and didn't get to bed until about 2 am.

Sunday, oh what a crazy day! I got up, got ready, and ran out the door by 10. Lily and I went to church while Brian saw a doctor. He has a yucky infection. :( We waited after church for him to pick us up, then we went to Arby's with a friend from church. As soon as lunch was done, I was off again. I took Brian and Lily home for naps and met my dear friend for a peaceful afternoon out at Starbucks. We then ran to our storage unit, and dug for a long time only to not find the clothes we were looking for. We went from there to Wal-Mart for Hubby's prescriptions. This takes us up to 6 pm, and so far I had not really been home. Well, from there I went to our church for a church family meeting (or update night) I was out of there by about 8 o'clock. So then I ran to Kroger to return a movie, and while I was there I found someones iPhone in the bathroom. I spent 15 minutes with the manager trying to help her locate the owner. It was very obviously a teenager's phone, and after calling all the "Dad" numbers, and the phone company, a girl walks up yelling at me for having her phone. The manager asked if she could prove it was her phone (she could have just been someone watching us, it was obvious we were trying to locate the owner) The girl yelled at me more, but finally proved she was the owner, and I handed her the phone. She was very mad. It is very sad when someone is treated so disrespectfully when they are trying to help. I just kept thinking; This girl is pretty lucky, most people would have walked off with it!! From there I went back to church because Lily had left her baby doll there, then to drop off 4 day late books and movies at the library. All the running had basically taken the place of dinner so I stopped to pick up a pizza, and then to the video store. I walked back in my door about 12 hours after I had first walked out it!

Today has been another busy day. Worked on then went to bible study most of the morning, lunch and time with Lily when I got home. A heart to heart talk with Hubby who stayed home from work because of the infection. Then de-cluttering!! We started about 5 hours ago and managed to get about 1/2 way done. I wish we could get it all done tonight, but I know if I don't rest now I will fall over, or worse MELTDOWN! So I am going to go find something for dinner now and hope to finish my house tomorrow. I did not work out today, but I'm hoping cleaning out my couch counts! :D

Thursday, January 21, 2010

An ER Visit, A Shocked Doc, and A plan

Well, I took myself to the ER last night and got strep throat confirmed. The Doctor gave me a stronger, double the dose medication, and said I should be felling better really soon. He also had to give me a dose of steroids because the swelling in my throat was so bad it was obstructing my breathing. I didn't realize how right he was until it worked! I was able to sleep laying down....what a big relief for this girl, who is totally freaked out to sleep sitting up. (Another story for another time)
I was finally able to sleep a decent stretch of time and woke up feeling a lot better! Although my throat is still hurting, I can breath, move my neck with only a bit of stiffness, and that horrible head ache is dulling. I got some house work done before feeling exhausted, and now I think I will just rest for the afternoon.

Today a wonderful, dear friend blessed me by running out in the cold with her children and filling my prescription for me. I was unable to do it in the middle of the night, and she took time out of her ever so busy day to help me. I very much appreciated it. Thank you for showing such love to me dear friend. Your willingness to help me brings tears to my eyes. (Yes, literally)

Ok so the funny part; the Doctor was in a huge hurry, and as he was trying to bolt out the door I stopped him. I asked him when it was ok for me to return to my high impact work out. You should have seen the look of shock on his face. It. Was. Great. :) I don't think to many fat sick women ask about returning to working out. He kind of stuttered about taking it slow, but being able to get back to it soonish. When I really pressed him, he said don't start until next week. Then he told me to do a low impact work out for a few days, and if I feel well enough and am not getting worn out then I can move up.
Seriously?? Who doesn't get worn out?
I have been doing Jillian's (Biggest Looser) 30Day Shred and wow does she kick your butt! I have a love/hate relationship with that work out. I was almost ready to move up to the next level, in fact that would have been today. Now I am thinking I will have to start all over :(
I do get really concerned that I will have a hard time being motivated to start over. I am the kind of person who has to do all or nothing, this start and stop thing is just not working for me. This will be the third time I will have to start her work out! I just want to get through it all once. Gesh is that to much to ask?? I guess I will do what I have to do in order to take care of my body.
If I trust my scale (which I really don't) then I have lost 4 pounds this week. Most of it in the last two days. I am hoping to keep it off, and continue the loss. I know that in order to do that I will have to keep my calories lower then I was (since I have hardly eaten while sick) and bring on the work outs. A good balance should do it! Since I can't work out hard right away I am going to start Monday with some yoga work outs. I have wanted to add that to my day anyway so now is a good time to start. I have also been looking into green smoothies and my goal (if it doesn't get to expensive) is to have one for breakfast every morning. That should help my body a so many ways. ;)

Well, that's a long enough update. I think I am going to lay down a while.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I HATE Being Sick!!

I hate being sick! I have had throat/ear issues for over a week and a half now. But Sunday I started really feeling run down so I took a nap and thought nothing of it. Monday I woke up and my throat which usually got better as the day went on did not get better! By the time I woke up from a nap on Mon my throat was on fire!! I have had ear pain, throat pain!! cold chills, fever (I woke up in the middle of the night the last two nights completely drenched in sweat!) head and neck both feel like they have been in a vice, and even walking to the bathroom was a challenge because I was so weak. Pretty sure I had/have strep. Yuck!
We had some penicillin on hand so I have been taking that, but only about 5 days worth (1/2 the amount of time they would usually have you on meds for strep) So I am also trying every thing natural that I have on hand. I thought I would share that here: Cold care tea, Hot toddy's, the whiskey raises your temperature to help fight infection while also burning the heck out of your throat as it kills bacteria on the way down! Grapefruit extract, also kills Bactria but tastes nasty! Pro biotic to replenish good bacteria and fight off the bad! Advil for pain and fever.....didn't really do much good. Zicam for the congestion. Hot pad on neck, hot wet towel on ears, and rest. Also gargled salt water, but almost threw up doing it!
I haven't been able to sleep much more than about 20 minutes in every hour for the last few days, but last night I took every pillow we had available and propped my self up. I hate sleeping sitting up! But it helped. It kept the draining going with out pooling in the back of my throat. I woke up this morning having slept a few hours strait off and on all night, my throat is still raw, but at least it doesn't make me scream to drink water! The ear that had not been hurting now hurts like mad...I don't really understand that. But at least we have improvement.

Tonight I was supposed to go grocery shopping. My husband doesn't want me leaving the house until I am a little better, so he is convinced he can do the shopping. We will see. He is the guy who throws lots of extras in the cart. Always junk food. Sounds scary to me.

I am trying to eat as healthy as possible to heal bodies and prevent more sickness. I am eating very limited because of the pain. If I'm lucky this sickness will jump start my weight loss :) I am not working out while sick....but I wish I could.

So breakfast this morning was: scrambled eggs~plain, whole wheat toast~w/ homemade pear butter~spiked with pro biotic, freshly juiced oranges~first cup spiked with grapefruit extract~second cup spiked with beni-fiber. It hurt going down, (not as bad as yesterday, though) but I know it will be good for my body.

Hoping to feel better soon. Hoping you and your family stay well!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Do They Remember?

I worry sometimes that my baby will be forgotten. The baby we lost two years ago. I sometimes think, do they know? Do they remember? Do they care? There was once a life inside of me that we never got to hold. There was once a child that we so gratefully anticipated.

My oldest child (stepson) Cameron is no longer in our life but living. He was a part of my life for almost 5 years. Yet, so many people forget about him. I am left thinking, how can one forget? He was ours, and we miss him so much. Yet, most don't remember.

Then I go on to think that if people can't remember the first child we no longer get to keep. The child that hugged them so many times, how will they ever remember the baby they never got to hold.

I know as a parent it is more important to me than anyone else that my children are remembered. Still, I worry that others will forget.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Coffee and Girl Time

I need some coffee, and girl time..... Doesn't this look lovely?
This pic was taken at my last coffee/girl time weeks ago. Of course mine is the massive amount of caffeine! Can't wait to do it again....who wants in?

Friday, January 8, 2010

Intentional Living 2010

God has been speaking to me about living intentionally through out this year. I started out thinking about new year resolutions, and began to realize that they never work because of my mind set. Because I am trying to do them on my own. So then I started thinking about time, and God, and if he has a plan for each year. The more I prayed the more He showed me that God has intentions for my life, for my time, and for each year. This was affirmed through scripture, and also through several people in our church....and they don't even know it!

So then I started praying about what God's intentions for my year would be. I didn't want to make resolutions this year, I wanted to commit to God's intentions! There are several smaller personal goals, family goals, and marriage goals that I want to see brought about. Then there were two BIG things that God showed me needed to change.

So I have spent time over the last few weeks praying, and writing out the changes God wants to make in my life. I say God wants to make these changes because there is no way in my humanness that I could do it myself.

I thought I would share these two things here with you. I spent some time today crafting these lists onto beautiful paper to hang in my home where I can be reminded of them often.

So, the first thing God intends for my next year is :

Intentional Health
I mean come on, how often are we intentionally caring for our body? The biggest thing that God showed me~changing my whole perspective on the loose weight resolution, which is so easy to break~is that with out a healthy body, I am hindering what God could be doing through me! If I were healthy, not tired, not weak, ect....God could use me so much more! I know that our body is God's temple, but telling me that always caused me frustration...on the other hand, if you tell me that by not taking care of my body I am not available to all God could have me doing....that is a scary thought.

Intentional Health for me means

  • Work out Daily (videos, yoga, walking,ect)
  • Eat only whole foods: nothing processed or fake
  • Keep sugar out (or at least very minimal!)
  • Limit food intake, sticking with food plans made for my body (For those of you who don't know, I have had a lot of health problems in my life. As a result of that I am supposed to be following food plans set up by the hard!)
I also included a verse when I posted this in my home:

Psalm 119:37
Turn away my eyes from beholding vanity (idols and idolatry); and restore me to vigorous life and health in Your ways

The second thing God is showing me to keep intentional for 2010 is my walk with Him
These are the things God gave me to live out intentionally in my walk with Him. All the things God is prompting me to do I should have been doing daily as a christian anyway. They are basic things, and I could make excuses but I won't. I will say that writing them out today and searching for verses to go with each thing was a challenge in itself, and I am hoping that will help me stay focused.
This is what I wrote;

Keep me abiding that I may bear fruit. John 15:4-7 Look it up! ;)

  • Get in the Word Psalm 119:50 This is my comfort and consolation in my affliction: that your word has revived me and given me life!
  • Memorize the Word Psalm 119:11 Your word I have laid up in my heart that I might not sin against You.
  • Prayer and Thanksgiving (This should be obvious~Pray and Be thankful!) Colossians 4:2 Be earnest and unwearied and steadfast in your prayer life, being both alert and intent in your praying with thanksgiving. (Amp. Bible) Pray diligently. Stay alert, with your eyes wide open in gratitude. (Mes. Bible)
  • Leading Lily to God Deuteronomy 11:19 Teach them (My words) to your children. Talk about them where ever you are, sitting at home, or walking in the street: Talk about them from the time you get up until you go to bed. (I took the Message, and Amplified and paraphrased to fit on my paper)
So there is a little bit of what God has been prompting me toward.

What is God asking of you this year??

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Do as I say, not as I do!

Today I find myself saying "Why won't you obey? Do you think you only have to obey when you want to?"

Apparently my daughter thinks so.

Then I started thinking....Am I much different? Do I always obey? When God is prompting me, do I do what he asks? Do I follow his word, His instruction?

Do I ignore Him? Do I wait until He has to tell me three, maybe four times? Do I do it, but protest with all that's in me?

After yelling at Lily for what seemed like the millionth time today, I began to often do I act like this to God? Why do we expect full, immediate, joyful obedience from our children, but then not expect the same thing from ourselves?

How can I expect obedience from my daughter when I do not always hold the same expectations for myself? Talk about hypocrisy.

Parenting is bringing out the selfishness in me today. I am so thankful that God does not respond in selfishness when I am being a pain in the rear!

Friday, January 1, 2010

I'm Yellow!!!!!!!!!!

Holy Crap I'm yellow and orange!!

Today I got a new computer. A wonderful guy from church decided that our very slow, outdated one was just not good enough. Especially if he was going to come over and use our computer while he is here. So this amazingly great computer guy gave us a new computer. This is the first time I have had to check it out, and low and behold I come to my blog and what do I see??? I thought it was green and black, but nnnooooo!! I am yellow and orange! Crazy!!

So I don't know if I was always yellow or if this is because the screen needs adjusted, would someone please tell me what colors I was before and what colors I am now??? Is it my old computer playing tricks with my eyes or my new one??

Well, not the new year post I had planned, but it will have to do. I'm off to bed now. Wow, what a first discovery of the new year!