Monday, December 20, 2010

The To Do List (and a few other random thoughts)

Our Internet is back on. Hurray! Christmas is quickly approaching. We are having windows installed tomorrow. The whole weekend will be full of family, and friends ( who really are family too )

This is what my currant to do list looks like for today through Thurs.:D

Clean house
Do laundry
Go grocery shopping
Finish Christmas shopping -Dad's gift (anyone have any ideas what to get him?)
Finish making Christmas gifts-Scarfs for Mom, G ma.
Sew together Robe for hubby - for those of you who do not know my history with sewing clothes, this is your cue to laugh- hysterically!
Go on a date - yea for date night!
Have my brothers over
Return movie rentals
Unpack boxes of books Yea! All done with that one!
Cook for family dinners - Peanut butter fudge, hummus, stuffed mushrooms, and more!
Have new windows installed
Wrap the rest of the gifts


So that is the next few days. Then there are all the gatherings to follow! :D Fun but very, very busy.

I am so grateful that we have our Internet back. I am wondering though if it maybe a good time to cut down on my blog reading. I was reading about 40ish a day and that was keeping it at a minimum for me, but I really don't have that much time. The issue is, who do I cut? ~Sigh~
I am also wishing for an "in my hands" bible study. I have been doing ones on line, and reading books, but I am ready to dig into a study that I can hold again....silly I know. Do you have any suggestions?

I was asking my mom just last night if she remembered a Christmas movie that she rented for us when I was young called : Christmas at Willow Creek. She did, but had no idea where to get it any more. It's a very old movie, and was not hugely popular. Well, after leaving my parents house last night my hubby needed something from the store, and wouldn't you know but it was there and on sale! I bought it, and can't wait to sit down with some cocoa and watch it. I love watching Christmas movies!

I could go on and on, but I really should get back to that list. What does your week look like?

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Life in Paragrphs

Life has moved on in the last few months, and I have missing being able to write here. We have been with out Internet for over a month now, and while I have enjoyed the time to get things done. Time to separate myself from it for a while, and spend more time in the word, reading, and living life.....I am very much ready to have it back now! We made a commitment in our home to forgo Internet until there was a reliable income again. So far that has not happened, and so we are currently still with out.

 In the first week of November we moved....again. We left our lovely town that we wanted to stay in forever, well, at least for many years yet. We moved a half an hour south to an even more conservative Amish town. It is different. In some ways easier, and some harder. We now live in the country surrounded by a very small tourist attraction, and then....nothing. Our driveway puts us a third of a mile off the road. The space we now have is much bigger, and has taken some getting used to. But, it is a lovely home, and I enjoy taking care of it.

 My husband has still been looking for work. Having no stable income is a thing of trust, and concern all at the same time. It looks like his time of unemployment is coming to a close, as he has a possible job offer coming. We continue to pray for God's leading. He has been working on some drywall jobs the last few weeks. It keeps him gone, but that may also be coming to a close.

 My daughter continues to grow, and challenge me as a mother, an individual, and a follower of Christ. She says the craziest off the wall things, and lives in her own world of logic. I increasingly grow weary of being the person she hangs on most of the waking and sleeping hours, but I know this time will be brief, then she will be off, and needing me no more. I wonder often why God picked me to be her mother, and if He truly realized how short I would fall at showing Him to her. Then I think of course God knows how I struggle to bring her to Him at every opportunity. I ask for forgiveness, and grace, and I pick up my girl and hold her tight, and tell her of Jesus and His love. Later I fail again, over and over to guide her to Him, but there is always Grace. Thank you Father for your grace.

Christmas is quickly approaching and I seek to focus on the true reason for the celebration. I love this time of year, the snow, the baking, the music, the beauty, and even the gifts. I also want to keep Jesus fulling in the center. This is so hard. It is to easy to get caught up in the busyness, and forget to see the simple beauty of the love, the sacrifice, and the hope. I long to always keep Jesus fully in the center of all I see.

In years past we have bought gifts for our family, and friends. This year we are limited by money, and there is a big part of me that is quite glad. I am making 95% of our gifts this year. Hand knitted/crocheted scarves for almost everyone. Not only does it cut back on cost (I was gifted a lot of the yarn) but it allows me time to pray for each person as I create something just for them. :D I love to pray for people as I make things for them.

My little girl on the other hand, is getting a bought gift. Last spring she received an American Girl catalog in the mail. Much to my surprise she spent hours and hours pouring over the things in that catalog, and while I don't want to promote that "I want" attitude, it was very sweet to see her so excited about the dolls and all their things. A few months after the catalog arrived she was still looking at it endlessly, when my mom called about a garage sale that was selling some of the dolls. I drove the 30 minutes to check it out, and got there with one doll left. The doll was being sold along with a small dog, 2 outfits, shoes, and accessories. The cost of all these things new would have been well over 200 dollars. I was able to get them at just over a quarter of that price. I can't wait until Christmas morning! When ever she is asked what she wants for Christmas her list always starts with that catalog. I am so thankful for the find that God provided months ago when we had the money. I have never been one to buy and tuck away gifts, but this is well worth the wait.

This morning my husband is sharing his testimony at our church. It is an amazing one of sin, and guilt replace with redemption! (Of course they all are) I can't wait to see him share it with our church family. As nervous at he is (and I admit, I'm nervous too) I know that Father will be greatly glorified today, and will use this in an amazing way in someones life! Thank you Abba for your forgiveness, your grace, your mercy, and your love.


Well, I could go on with so much more. Making decisions on school, Christmas parties, baby showers, things learned in time with God, and where He is taking me.....just to get you interested :D I think I will leave that for another time.
May you be blessed with peace, and joy abundantly.

Monday, October 25, 2010

I Know that I Know......But Could Someone Just Tell My Heart??

I know that I have been absent for a while. That was not my intention, of course. I wanted to write, but I have had so much going on that my brain was just not working well enough to compose a post. Even now I wonder if publicly writing what is in my head might possibly the worst idea I have had in a long time.

In just a few short weeks we will have no income. Months ago my husband separated his shoulder. It has prevented him from working in the capacity that he always has, and as a result of that he has been unable to find work. Unemployment has helped, but it ends in a few weeks.
Also in a few weeks we are being asked to move. The landlord wants our space for an office. So with no income we will also be homeless. We have known this for a month, and I have remained calm.Until now.....

Today, I have been struggling greatly with TRUST (among other things). Do you ever just struggle over and over again with something and wonder if you will ever get it? Trust is that thing for me. The words that keep playing over and over in my mind today are trust, hope, faith, peace, grace, safety, provision. For weeks, even months I have done really well with these words. I have grown in them, I have seen, and experianced them. I have not doubted them.

 Then this weekend I woke up several times in the middle of the night totally panic stricken. The feeling has not yet left. I have let doubt creep in, fear, LOTS of fear, sadness, confusion, pain, and anger. I have allowed my circumstances to control my emotions rather than giving my emotions to my Father.
I am not sure what to do about it either. It is one thing to say have faith....it is quite another to get yourself to do just that.

 I know, that I know, that I know that God will take care of us. I also know that it will be His timing which is most commonly not my timing. That it will also be His way, which also has not commonly been my way. I know this. I know I am not forgotten. But my heart just doesn't hear me say that right now.

 So in light of this panic filled weekend, that seems to be slinking it's way into my week. I have spent time praying and searching, and getting in the word. I have spent time with others so as not to be alone in depression. Yet, I struggle. I worry. I panic.

So that is where I am at today. Seeking the Father. Trying not to cry. Knowing of His faithfulness, but not connecting it to my heart.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Fear....A Sin??

It was recently pointed out to my by a very sweet, but bold Godly woman that fear is a sin. I had completely NOT remembered this, to which she pointed out that could be a tool of the enemy to keep me in sin. 

Thoughts on this???

Saturday, October 2, 2010

The Scent of Worship

The fundraiser went fabulous, and even though I was an emotional mess by the time I got home, and I am still feeling really drained, I am glad I had to opportunity to work with such wonderful people for such a wonderful little boy! It looks like all the money needing to be raised for the dog is now raised!!!! Praise God!

So I have had something on my mind/heart for a few weeks now that I would really like to share with you. I was reading Angie Smith's book I Will Carry You about the loss of her daughter Audrey. She recounted a portion of a sermon she once heard and it has really stuck in my head. I am going to re post part of it from her book here. I would love to post the full 8 pages of this section, but that would be too much. I implore you to get a copy and read it, or even go to Amazon and look up pages 121-128. ( I wouldn't usually recommend this method but seriously if you can't get a copy of the book read it there!)  I greatly encourage you to ponder it, meditate on, live it out.....

 Days after the resurrection of Lazarus a celebration was held in honor of Jesus. Everyone was gathered around the Lord when Mary shattered a bottle of perfume and wiped the lavish scent across His feet with her hair. The scent was to be used in a society where bathing was not frequent so this particular nard was extremely pungent. A few drops would have been more than enough, but with out regard to cost, or what those around her might think she simply poured it all out as an act of worship. Many have speculated that Mary  was preparing her beloved savior for His death and burial, but our pastor went on to explain that-The scent of the perfume surely would have been on His skin a few days later when He was beaten and crucified. So in essence, every time a Roman soldiers whip hit Him, the scent of Mary's worship was released and rose all around Him. A reminder of who He was. 
~
As Mary and the others who loved Jesus watched Him, they were overcome with desperation. The Lord Himself cried out in hurt, and they stood helpless watching as the breath of this life left Him. At some point she left the site of the crucifixion and I imagine wandered the streets in sadness to visit and mourn with friends and family. Here is the part you many not have considered before now. Every where she went, every step of the way, she was followed. Every person she came into contact with, every stranger who saw her cry, every home she entered was being filled with something intangible, a gift that would be with her for many days to come. It was scent of love fore her Savior, and it was caught in her hair. Close your eyes for a moment and imagine the beauty of this image. She was carrying with her the invisible yet ever present reminder of who He was to her with out a single word she told His story over and over again. 

Taken from "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith pages 121,122,127,128


I would love to hear your feedback on this!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Joshua is Keeping My Week Busy!

I have wanted to post for days. I have something on my heart that means a lot to me. I want to share it. I am crazy busy this week. Unfortunately something ( or several somethings) are going to have to go.....blogging may be one of those somethings. So while I am going to try and get back here in the next day or two, I can't promise.


In the mean time, check out this cutie: Joshua.  He has autism and this week there is a benefit in his honor to raise money for a service dog for him. (Which is what has me crazy busy!)
Come on out if you can:
Friday Night
5pm to 9pm
Goshen Theater
216 S. Main st., Goshen
 Deserts, Coffee, and a Silent Auction!

To read more about this fun night visit my friend Rachel's blog.

Hope to be back soon to share my heart with you!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Letting Go

My day has been themed. Let go....Heal
I have been in grief all day. Late last night I was hurt deeply. Over and over. It was all relationship hurts. I was to blame. It was rejection. I didn't understand why. It was a feeling of being discarded. My heart bleed. I cried into my pillow for what seemed like hours. My husband lay beside me, telling me it wasn't my fault. I have been hurt many times in relationships. You have too, I know.
I felt withdraw. I felt like closing up. I felt a need to grab my Savior's robes, and cry into his chest, and hold on so tight that I couldn't let go.

The hurt is still there. I have spent the day in quiet. Just me, and my little girl. I have refused to do anything with anyone today. I told people no, feeling guilty about it, but knowing that I needed to let God take care of me today. That I needed time with Him, and time alone, and time to just be, to heal. I decided today needed to be low key. Healing, reading His words, clinging, and resting. I didn't know that God would be telling me to let go. It's so hard.
Let go....of the pain, the unforgiveness, control. Let go how others see me. Let go of me, and clinging to Him.
 Just be in the calm of the day ( I have so few of those) and lean on the one who heals. That is what I am working on today.

Part of me would love to withdraw forever. That's the kind of person I am. That is not what God is calling me to do. So tomorrow I return back to my busy life. Three things already planned for the day! But today I am working on letting go.

 *Side Note* I am loving this song. I just found it today, doesn't it speak so loudly???

Come By Here

Thursday, September 9, 2010

What God Has Given Me

These next few weeks are full. Not that they are ever empty, but there seems to be a lot more going on than normal.
In just three short week our church is hosting a desert and coffee fundraiser with a silent auction. I have been asked to knit fingerless gloves (and possibly scarves) in addition to making a few gratitude journals. These are all items that I would like to get made to start my own Etsy shop . So I am hoping to get extra's made and the shop opened during the next few weeks as well. I only have two weeks to complete the projects for the auction. The third week will be needed for baking as I am also baking a portion of the deserts for the benefit. Fun, fun, fun. I have worked on several fundraisers in the last few years. Some have been more stressful that others, but I have always had some fun!

 This weekend we have the joy of keeping my best friends boys while she and her hubby get away for a weekend in Chicago!! Sounds great! I love having her boys around. Lily's best friend and stand in brothers (hope it's ok to say that), it's always such sweet thing. The weather has been great these last few days, and if the rain holds off I think we will be outdoors as much as possible. Sat. morning we are hoping to make it to Ted Yoder's concert. Such beautiful sounds he makes with the Hammered Dulcimer.

I have joined an intense study on the kingdom of God. There is more digging in scripture than I have ever seen in a bible study. Great for me, I am loving getting in the word. Not so great for the busy life I lead, but possibly could help me slow down, if I need to take the time to be in the word.

 A few days ago I was also praying about what God would have me read in His word next (during my own quiet time) He very clearly prompted me to read through Psalms. Later that day my hubby was sitting on the bed reading the word, and so I asked him where he was reading. Lo and behold: God told him to read Psalms too! I have really felt the spirit prompt me to read it over the next few weeks. So I have added 11 chapters of Psalm reading to my daily life :D Love it!

 I am also really trying to buckle down and loose a few more pounds. I have been working out for what seems like ages! Watching what I eat, and changing portions, and how many servings of each food group I get in a day. It is only barely working. While I have lost a few pounds this year (25-30) it just doesn't show!!! I want to feel it, I want it to show, I want to have to pull out clothes in smaller sizes! So far that has not happened. So I am trying AGAIN to revamp my ways of eating, my ways of working out, and my ways of living. I know that hormones have a lot to do with my weight struggles. I have been wondering how much my stress and busyness has played a part in that. So a weight loss goal is becoming: breath, slow down, eliminate stress!

Well, there are so many other things going on in the next few weeks. So many things God is using to challenge me, and so many things that I am dreaming about. Unfortunately, I need to end this post for now, and get back to my daughter. Lunch~reading~menu planning~meetings....oh so many things.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Fall, I Have Missed You

September 1st, I am officially craving apple pies, and pumpkin chocolate chip bread, and sweaters, and scarves,  pumpkin spice lattes, and walks through fall colored leaves.
I have of course been unofficially craving these things for weeks now!! I am so happy this time of year is approaching. It is my favorite, and I think I could live in it at least 8 months out of the year! I am anxiously awaiting all the things I love about fall, and now I am becoming more impatient as it draws near. 
I just bought my daughters winter wardrobe, and can't wait to see her in it! To cuddle on the couch with hot cocoa, and books. Doesn't my life just sound divine? :D Ah....fall....*sigh*

Monday, August 30, 2010

Creating & Beauty & Lots of Pictures

These last four or five days have been crazy busy. I have created, shopped, seen about everyone I know :), driven all over the place, learned a lot, got stressed out, peopled out, and had some fun along the way.
I want to share some beauty I have captured lately, and also some of the creations I have made.


 
 







 These beautiful sunflowers have been growing outside my home. I love to see them. Don't they just make you smile?


 This truck was just to fun not to capture. My dear friend LOVES yellow smiley faces, and we just had to stop and take a picture for her. :)

 A beautiful gift I won at a baby shower last week. So serene.







Knitting at my brother's football games. Creating with yarn~I love it!~










Preserving day with my dear friend. God blessed me through another family with green beans, then my friend added to it for a total of 8 frozen quarts. The middle picture: My tomatoes ready to be cut up and made into the yummiest sauce. 3 bags of it!




 This is my friends salsa. This is the third time this year she has canned it. With all the tomatoes and peppers coming from her beautiful garden.






  Now....you have the pleasure of looking at the beautiful things created for my little sister Serene's birthday!
A 6 layer 9x13 rainbow cake! 


 That is vanilla pudding between the layers to cut the sweet. Once it had been in the fridge a while it was so moist because the pudding soaked in! It took 3 cake mixes, 2 boxes of pudding, and 2 1/2 cans of frosting for this cake! But it was so yummy!



Whimsical writing gave it a fun feel. Don't you just love the vibrant colors? I do!







Handmade sketch pad. 24 colors of card stock make a beautiful pad. I drew the daisy on then painted it in. Stamped her name to personalize it. This resembles the gratitude journals I am making for Etsy, and a benefit coming up~It was a lot of fun.







    
In addition to the rainbow cake:
Knitted rainbow scarf, hand painted ladybug, and hand mande sketch book.










So there you have it.

Monday, August 23, 2010

I Pursue

Last night my husband and I shared at our small group. We rotate teaching, and it was our week! We spoke about how what you pursue in your life/marriage can either hurt your marriage or attract you to each other. For example if I am pursuing my selfishness, I will only hurt my husband, and our relationship. If on the other hand I am spending time pursuing God, and the holiness He calls us to, well, it will be something attractive that will improve our marriage. We also talked a little bit about how marriage is God's context for challenging us to be holy. Quite a few of out thoughts came out of this book. Before diving into it though I read a poem that had been given to me. I have been asked to post it here. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

 I pursue. I run. I chase. I long
 I pursue what is in my heart.
 Money, things, music, black boxes, and keyboards,
 cars, and games, instruments, and perfection.
 I run after it.
 Fear of failure is hot on my heals.
 I can't see anyone.
 I don't see anything important.
 Only my own wants.
 My selfishness surrounds me
 as my idols take over my body, mind, and soul from with in.

 My spouse goes unnoticed.
 Needs of others go with out.
 Around me there is pain while I live in a world of my own.
 While I purse the things in my world,
 Hurt ensues around me.

 Then I hear it.
 Quietly calling to me.
 God's voice draws me.
 My focus shifts.
 I see Him.
 His glory.
 I see who He is,
 and who He made me to be.
 I turn and run fully into His arms.
 I race to the one who gives life.
 I realize the life He gives
 is different than the one I wanted.
 I embrace it, full of love.
 I pursue God fully,
 letting Him change me body, and mind, and soul from with in.
 The hurt I once caused is now being replaced
 with love and servant hood.

 I leave my idols behind to pursue God
 and in that I find a great pursuit
 of all things good and Godly.
 I find my marriage changed
 because I am loving my spouse with a Godly love
 and my pursuit of God is healing my marriage.
 Healing the hurt my idols have cost us.

 The pursuit of idols hurt us
 Left us broken and separated.
 The pursuit of God
 attracts me to my love, my spouse.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Germ Free School???

Yesterday, Lily had an evaluation at the school. Upon hearing that I plan to home school her the woman then lectured me about the benefits of public school compared to the negatives of homeschooling. I had told her one of the reasons we wanted to keep Lily home was because her immune system does not seem to be as strong as most kiddos. She informed me in her way that it was an excuse. She told me about another lead kid that went to school there and how they isolated him from others so he could be there. So sad to think of a kid being isolated in a room of other kids. She also told me this child had not made any progress with his lead poisoning in the last few years, huuummmm. I tried to figure out how they would keep germs at a minimum with kids, toys, and learning materials. Lily had already managed to touch every single toy in that room, and every thing she could along the way. The first place my daughter wanted to check out in the school was the tiny sinks, and toilets in the bathroom. So I was highly skeptical as to how they thought they could keep my child healthy.

Today, Lily has strep.

 I don't blame the school. I know it could not have set in that quick, but I find it ironic that my point is my daughter picks up everything and I do all I can to keep her healthy. They think they can keep her healthy ....and yet a day later she is sick again.

 I am just laughing at the irony.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

"Your Daughter Is OVERWEIGHT"

Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

I am discouraged, and I am a little afraid. Lily had a WIC appointment today. She was weighed and measured. In the past she has been on the kind of small side. I have noticed recently that she still seems to be small compared to others (I know we shouldn't compare our kids). Especially in the height department. I have also noticed her face has been filling out, and she seems to be adding on a bit of chunk. Only once have they mentioned her weight creeping up being a concern, and it was quickly dismissed because of her height. Today, that was not the case. She is short at 38 1/2 inches(15% on the charts)-the same at she was 6 months ago. Since then though she has put on more weight and is now 39 pounds(96% on the charts). Her height and weight are almost the same number. She was red flagged in their system for being overweight. I was distressed! They talked to us about the food we eat at home. About not keeping to many candies, and chips and cookies on hand. They talked about making sure that she is an active child, and maybe not too much tv.

 I know all of this. I try to put into practice all of this. Does she watch to much tv; yes. Does she eat junk food; occasionally. Is she active; yes, I think so. We try so hard in our home to watch what we are doing to our bodies. We try to eat healthy foods, and I would say we succeed at least 80% of the time. We try to make sure that we are staying active, even in a small space.

 My husband and I are both overweight. I'm not talking just a little, I'm talking morbidly obese. It is hard. It hurts. It is a constant struggle. I try everyday to make good choices for myself and my family. My husband has had a life long battle, starting at a young age with bad habits.  I didn't have any problems with my weight until my mid teens when I developed PCOS. Since then, I crawl in my skin everyday with the torture of being overweight. I have always had a fear that my daughter would have the same struggle, and now here it is starting me in the face.

 She is only 4 years old, and yet I am scared for the rest of her life. I know that we are not supposed to live in fear. I also don't know how to help her. I am already trying so hard. So here I am again. Looking over our menus trying to figure out what I am doing wrong. Trying to figure out what I can change, and wondering how I can get my baby healthy, and teach her to stay that way. She is at high risk for also developing PCOS and that scares me, but I know that if she starts out young, and overweight her chances go up. So here I go again. Back to the place I always go; to God for peace, and to my books for knowledge. I need to find a way to help her. I don't want her to have the lifelong struggle that I have had. I know that many people have told me not to worry about her weight because she is young, and it will work itself out. Now I am being faced with the actual label of "OVERWEIGHT" and I do feel like I should be doing something before that label results in other labels (pcos, diabetic, or the more horrible one: fat)

 So now that I have written a very small portion of my panic away.....I'm going to look at my menu again, reread some books, again....and to sit with the Father.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Things I Am Loving Today

#1   My beautiful little girl. She has helped me pick up, cuddled, read stories, helped her self 3 times to lunch, and played. I saw her little heart break today from dissapointment, and heard her excited screams when Daddy came home. Who can resist her? :D


#2  A clean house! It took me 5+ hours but it is clean and sanitized! Now if only it could stay that way!


#3 My nap. I was tired, but not done cleaning. Yet, I was able to stop myself and take a nap. A big thing for me to not finish cleaning first. So glad I did, or I would be dragging now!


#4  This verse:    Job 23:12    I have esteemed and treasured the words of His mouth more than my necessary food. Oh my word!~Conviction from the Spirit hitting me right in the soul!

#5  Parmesan crusted chicken, with tomato mozzarella salad, and Oh Baby cake for dessert! The appropriate words: 
appealing, delectable, delicious, divine, flavorsome, heavenly, inviting, luscious, mouthwatering, palatable savory, scrumptious, succulenttantalizing, tasty, tempting yummy

 
#6   This picture, it's just fun, and beautiful. 

Rain on the sun roof


Who knows what the night holds.....a walk, a movie, reading, coffee????

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Business of Starting a Business


Is it crazy to think of starting a home business when you don't really have any where to start from? My husband and I had a conversation two weeks ago about starting a home business to relive some of the financial burdens we have been feeling. We sat down with a note book and made a list of ideas. Some were possibly good ideas, some were bad, and some were very bad. At least we were trying. Then we went to the library, and checked out every book on small businesses that we could find. Every idea book there, well we took it!
So I'm going to share with you today some of those ideas. I am hoping that you will be willing to give me some feed back. Some of our ideas were for him, some for me, and some for both of us.

1. Mobil oil changes; We come to you to change your oil and give your car the tune up it needs.

2. Drywall inspections; Think you got a lousy drywall job? Do you want an estimate before the other guys try to pull one over on you....Semi retired drywall finisher will come to your home and provide you with and estimate, or show you all the trouble spots the need to be fixed so you don't have to keep calling the guy you hired back out.....Didn't I say we had some crazy ideas?

3. Mud Bogging Pit; (Can you guess who's idea that was?) Fields of mud just waiting to be sloshed around in. 15$ per..... Come get muddy.

4. Bread Baking Classes. You love the way a fresh loaf smells, and tastes but have never quite mastered it on your own. Take classes from the lady who can transform your whole carb world :D 5$ (still thinking about price) per class 25$ for a series of 6 classes. White/wheat, sourdough, rustic country, french bread, and more!

5. Writing, I understand that making money from your writing is very difficult, but it's what I love to do. Magazines, on-line zines, papers, blogs, and perhaps one day books. Ah to dream.

6. Garden Weeders; Hate to weed your garden? Don't have enough time in your week? Call us and we will do it for you.

7. Etsy Shop (One of the ideas I am most interested in) Handmade items for you or gifts. Knitted scarves, fingerless gloves, wraps, and more! Also, gratitude journals, a creative way to list the many things you are thankful for.


So there it is. Our crazy ideas. What do you think?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Teachings in the Struggle

God speaks. This is what he has been saying to me. I shared this with my woman's bible study last night, and I thought that would share it here too.

Hunger/Thirst

We control our hunger for God.
I always thought the amount of hunger I had came from God. That when I wanted to be hungry I had to pray for it. But God is showing me that I control it with what I satisfy myself with. I can be hungry for God and continually satisfy myself with Him or I can fill that hunger with things~distractions~busyness~or even myself and that decreases my hunger for Him.

If we are not hungry for God it is because we have allowed our souls to be satisfied or satiated with other things~John Bevere
He went on to say that the Lord showed him that "he" was the responsible for his own hunger level. If he wasn't hungry it was because he was already full. Fill with the cares of this world and filled with pleasures and distractions. If he wanted to hunger in the mist of the abundance of things he would need to fast. Fast from the things that would distract, comfort or distress him.

Psalm 107:9 For He satisfies the thirsty, and fills the hungry with good things.

John 6:35 Jesus replied: I am the bread of life whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

Psalm 143:6 I lift my hands to you in prayer. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.

Trust

God is teaching me that Because I love Him, I must trust Him.
He has pushed that with me while we have had no income. While Lily has had lead poisoning, while we have lost children. While I have been dealing with failure, He is telling me to trust him.
Not long ago I was swimming with Lily and she was freaking out about me letting go of her. She had a life vest on, and had let go of me many times, but was still freaking out. I found myself telling her something that I quickly recognized as God's voice speaking to me.
I said:
I love you, and because I love you, you have to trust me. You will be ok. You maybe scared, but I will be right here. All you have to do is come toward me and you will be safe.

God is slowly teaching me, and speaking to my heart about how much I should trust him, if I truly love him. As a mother I expect my child to trust me based on the fact that I love her, and want best for her. As my Daddy, God's love for me makes Him trust worthy. No matter what happens in my life.

Psalm 143:8 Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk for I give myself to you.

Psalm 13:5 But I will trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me.


Thankfulness

No matter what life holds God is showing me that I need to be thankful for the things He gives rather than complain about all we don't have. This is hard and I don't think I have even gotten close to where He wants me but I strive.
I plant seeds of gratitude in my heart by keeping a gratitude journal. It's usually the smallest things that go in there and change my perspective of my life.
I have/am also learning that thankfulness is a choice. If I don't choose to be thankful then I am choosing a sinful attitude. It has to be an intentional thing to be thankful.

1Thessalonians 5:18
Be thankful in all circumstances for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.


Intentional Living

Intentional living is doing, thinking, feeling, and saying everything with a purpose For me it is making a choice to live out everything in my life to God's glory. Meaning the end result of everything points to God. Then making everything in my life an individual choice. I can float along or I can choose to be intentional about everything. For example; do I float along while I do my everyday stuff (dishes, drive to work, eating) or do I choose to be intentional and use it as an opportunity to listen to the spirit's leading, and glorify God?

1 Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink, or what ever you do, do it all the to the glory of God.

1 Timothy 4:16 Keep a close watch on how you live and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right for the sake of your own salvation and the salvation of those who hear you.


Quiet~Slowness~Waiting~Resting

I have filled my life with busyness. Most of what I do can be considered Godly, or good, and glorifying to Him. I know that I am not choosing to be busy with things I shouldn't be. But God has been heavily speaking to me about being slow, and in the quiet. The biggest reason this is hard for me is because I have filled up my life helping other people with their problems just so I wouldn't have to face my own problems and hurt.
I was also (and still am) dealing with the perspective that being slow, waiting and resting is lazy. Not being a busy person all the time in my mind meant that I am a lazy person with mental issues :)
God has spent time showing me that only in the quiet stillness can He heal and restore me. Yes, that means dealing with my own problems, and sometimes hurting. That means my idea of rest and laziness need to change but God has been getting in my heart and working on that. He gives me quotes and scriptures to help me slow down, be quiet, and rest. These things have had the ability to change my thoughts and schedule.

Busyness and constant stresses of life rob me of physical, emotional, and and spiritual strength. Even as I must restore myself physically everyday sleeping and eating in order to give my body the nutrients and strength it needs to live productively, so I must feed my soul on God's words, nurture my heart through prayer, and pull away from life's demands in order to rest. ~Sally Clarkson

The Lord is beckoning me to rest in Him~to cease striving and allow Him to order my days. I had unknowingly placed more trust in my ability to manage than in God's plan for my life. I had allowed schedules and expectations to replace the assurance that God's grace was sufficient~always and no matter what. ~Lorraine Curry

Psalm 62:5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him.

Isaiah 30:15 This is what the Sovereign Lord the Holy One of Israel, says, Only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would have none of it.

The last line of this verse reminds me that I would have none of what God was trying to give me with resting, but that if I do all that He asks in this area then the rest of the verse will come to pass.


We must not just act like Christians, but learn to have the heart of a Christian.

If we learn, and let God change our heart it will change our thinking, and then change our actions. But if we just learn to act like Christians with out a heart or mind change then we are no better than the hypocrites of Jesus' day.
In becoming more like Christ my first step has to be my heart and the attitude that is in it. Not the action itself. Otherwise we are doing as Myron (my pastor) said we are just managing our sin.
God wants to change our hearts not just watch us try to manage our sin. We focus so much on acting right~what about thinking right?

I was emailing my pastor about this not long ago and he said:
We learn to do the right things but nothing really changes. Maybe we should concentrate less on what we do and more on who we are becoming. Then maybe our actions will reflect who we really are. ~Myron Bontrager

God has also been showing me that someones actions should not determine my reaction. This I believe goes right into this lesson because it is all about the hear.

Proverbs 4: 20-23 My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 22:15 My child if your heart is wise, My own heart will rejoice!

Jeremiah 17:9 The human heart is the most deceitful of all things and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?

I think it is important to look at this verse because it shows us that our heart with out God is evil and only He can change it for good.

Luke 6:45 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

Romans 2:29 No, a true Jew is one whose heart is right with God. And true circumcision is not merely obeying the letter of the law; rather, it is a change of heart produced by God’s Spirit. And a person with a changed heart seeks praise from God, not from people.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I Totally...

Tonight, I totally stepped out of my element.

I totally stepped into the unknown.

I totally let people into my personal crap.

I totally tried to be open.

I totally shared my heart.

I totally flipped out inside.

I totally feel emotionally fried.

I totally doubt myself.

I totally try to trust that God moved.

I totally wonder if I said everything wrong.

I totally wonder if I sounded self absorbed.

I totally pray that everything came out the way I wanted it to.

I totally need to release all my thoughts!!!

Good night.

Monday, August 2, 2010

I Am A Pin Cushion

As a child I was really good at finding things with my feet. Rusty nails, glass, pins, needles, and the occasional odd item. If something broke, and we were not sure if it had all been swept up the joke was, just wait, Amber will find it. Well, it hurts! Stepping on things, being poked, then pulling the object out. Not to mention the blood was a pain to deal with. Have you ever tried to walk while bleeding out your foot with out getting it on the floor? Oh, and try keeping your balance when something suddenly stabs the thing you are balancing on!

I tell you this because tonight I feel jabbed. Those feelings of long ago (or just last week) of being jabbed in the foot with something sharp are very present tonight. This time though it's not just my feet. I feel like I have been poked, jabbed, prodded, and stabbed with pins. All over my soul. At this present moment, my soul is a pin cushion. You remember those right? The little red tomato looking things that your mom/grandma wore on her wrist while she sewed? I would watch my mom take pins out of clothing as it passed under the needle, and jab it quickly into her pin cushion. It looked violent.

My soul is jabbed with failure. I feel it. I see it. I hear it. I know it.

Walking out the door while my daughter is screaming because mom has taken a lot of time for herself, and none for her girl. Failure. Pin prick.
House is a mess, dishes piled up, floor hasn't been mopped in a while. No order. Another pin prick. Another stab of failure to my soul.
No money. No gas. No bills being paid out of my own pocket. Failure.Poke. Jam. Jabbed.
Child behind developmentally. Not making time to work with her. Failure. Double stab.
Claiming to be a writer. Not writing. Not creating. Failure. Ouch...
Hurting my husband instead of blessing him. Failure. Pin prick.
Being jealous of friends blessings. Their ability to thrive, to do things, buy things, to not worry. Failure. Pins.
My child causes trouble every time she is at a friend's house. Failure. Prodding.
No job. No income. No provision. Failure. Pain. Stabbings.
Infertility. Not giving him another child. Her a sibling. Missing out again while others succeed. Failure. P..I..N...
Not loosing weight. Shopping with others, no clothes in my size. Knowing I'm twice as big as you. Not being attractive. Trying and getting nowhere. Not being healthy. FAILURE! Forget the pins...did a piano just fall on me?


I know that I mean more to God than this. But, I don't know that I mean more to me than this. Not tonight. I am a pin cushion. Failure are my pins. I am being pricked.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

God Speaks Through Facebook

This is a face book status that I put on early this morning, and the conversation that followed it. It was challenging, and totally God filled. I thought I would re post it here for you to also soak up the wisdom that my friend provided! Please comment with your thoughts too. This is something I would really like to hear your thoughts on......


Amber We don't just want to teach our children to act like Christians, we want to teach them to think, and have the heart of a christian...otherwise we are just managing sin, not changing hearts...same goes for us...


    • Dawn
    • Amen!!

      So......How?

      How do we teach this?
      ...How does a Christian act?
      How does a Christian think?
      How does the heart of a Christian beat?



    • Amber
      Scripture !!!! If everything we do and say comes out of our hearts then we must make sure that what is in the heart is good! Memorize scripture, apply it in every situation, every thought, every action, and every reaction.
      Teach our children...n the same thing. If they sin, punish the sin, but teach them what God's word says about it, and how God says to live instead. Teach them how to go to scripture about everything!
      Discipline!!
      We first and foremost teach by example. What we do says a lot more to our children than what we say. (Yikes!) We teach through daily life. Pulling out God's word as each situation presents it's self.
      A Christian acts, thinks and heart beats as Christ's does. All we need to do is look at how he lived, loved, and gave. That will sum up how we should also live. Which leads back to how we should think and how our heart should beat, b/c that is where it all starts!
      So really the simple response to your questions is scripture! Read it, eat it, breath it. Teach your children to love it, to use it, to know it.

      Then of course there is prayer, and personal relationship. I know that I can read God's word, and try to apply it to my life all by my self. It doesn't work. You need prayer, you need relationship with God, otherwise you are back at the beginning with just managing and not changing! He can change you with his Word, yes, but that change also comes out of knowing Him. Because only when we KNOW Him is His Word going to take hold of our hearts!

      ~Dawn, I don't know if you were really looking for me to answer, but I felt I needed to write out my thoughts. I'm sure I didn't say anything you don't already know. Thank you for challenging me to dig deep. I would be interested to read your answers too.



    • Dawn
    • Amber, good answers....thanks.

      I find, daily, that it remains a challenge to hold fast to the Truth of the Word and live accordingly.

      Tradition has determined much of what I believed the Word to say and without getting in and digging out, ...I struggled to mesh Truth with life. (If that makes any sense...)

      For example, "the truth shall set you free." something that we're often taught in the church - but Jesus said, "...and you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." We don't understand that the word "know" there means to know with our heads, our hearts and our actions. This is why so many Believers can know the truth - but remain in bondage! They only know it with their heads...they are not LIVING it.

      Therein do I find the challenge. LIVING what is there - not the obvious - love your neighbor as yourself. But, rather the deeper issues of things like "In all your ways acknowledge Him," "casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you," or something as "simple" as, "Fear not."

      So, yes, while I agree with your answer - I find it is like a good diamond, the beauty of it is not on the surface, but in the many internal cuts required inside, that allow it to reflect the light more exquisitely!
      See More




    • Amber Thanks Dawn, lots to think about now!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Rehab For Coffee Addicts

Late one night over a year ago I was up talking to a friend on line. I was feeling goofy, and wrote a short bit about coffee. I was recently asked to re post it, so here for your enjoyment :)

I had to go to coffee rehab. I loved coffee to much. I drank it all the time, and wouldn't drink anything else. I was addicted.

They sent me to this place where all the doctors drank coffee. They would walk around with big mugs of it, and we would smell it everywhere we went, but they wouldn't give us any. They said it was part of our therapy, and try as we might, we couldn't even sneak in the office to get some, because it was locked in a safe.
So I pretended that I didn't like coffee anymore. I told them it was what the devil drank in the morning. Then they realized that I was cured, so they let me go. What would you know, but the first place I went was Starbucks. It..was...amazing! I was free. Free from that evil coffee rehab. It was such a horrible time in my life. I try to block it out. Now my coffee is bitter sweet. Every time I drink it I smile just a little bit for the return of coffee makes me feel all warm and fuzzy again. Then I feel sad, and tear up, but never cry for that time in my life when I was separated from my dark sweet love.


So there you have it, hope you had fun reading it.

Monday, July 19, 2010

The Knitting Circle

Tonight I did something new, and a little bit scary. I stepped out of my safe box, and joined a group of women that I didn't know! I was so nervous. I was a little bit scared, and I couldn't figure out what exactly possessed me to do such a thing. But I knew that I waned to meet older women, in the community, that had a similar interest. So I joined a knitting circle.

Our town has one knit shop. It is located conveniently downtown, just two miles or so from my house. Up the road from my church, and right next door to a good coffee house is an old shop full of yarns, and needles, and books of all kinds. I had been in quite a few times before, but had never bought anything because, as most local shops, it was out of my price range. I had heard though that a group of women met once a month to knit together, and I thought it might be the opportunity I was wanting to connect with the previously mentioned women. I was/am very much missing older women in my life. We have had some rough months, and the wisdom and calmness that comes with talking to, or being mentored by those elder is feeling greatly missed in my life.

I gathered my latest project, a long multi colored scarf that my four year old asked me to make for her, and I took my scared butt downtown. When I walked in the shop (all nervous and clutching my bag) the woman behind the counter said, "You came....what was your name again?" It was good to know that she remembered me from the times I had been in the shop. She took me back to an adjacent room with couches and chairs and introduced me to the three other women in the room. She informed them that I am the newest addition to their group. I sat down and we exchanged general information, such as how long we had been all been knitting. People came and went through out the evening, nine in all. These women were not all like I had pictured, although some more than others. Some were struggling in life too. They brought their complaints, and families, and jobs were mentioned. Even the coffee shop next door was discussed. (Interesting to me because our pastor owns it) The conversation covered a wide range of topics, but kept coming back to the one common thing, knitting/crocheting. It was nice to not have to think, talk or do anything out side of sit and knit. I realized at one point I felt a little bit like a different person, because my life was not revolving around someone else, or what needed to be done, or trying to let go of all the crap. I felt different, but I felt like me. Like a me that I once knew. Does that make sense? I recognized a person I used to be...just a little. I also learned new ways to knit, so that made it more interesting.

I don't see any major mentoring coming out of this group, but I do see a place to sit and just be. Most of the women ranged in age from about 35 to 65 and most were dealing with life too. Things from sickness, to kids, to divorce, to jobs. One woman introduced her self to me in this fashion, " I'm Jackie, the widow, my husband just died a few weeks ago. This is the second time I have been widowed." I really didn't know what to do with that...but she was a fun woman despite her pain. It is a community.

I was invited back. I was also invited to other knit days. Like 5-7 hours during the day, two days a week. All I could think was, how do you have that much time!? I was somewhat intrigued by this group of women. I don't know that I will continue to go back on a regular basis, but who knows....I just might.

Side note: Yay to me for posting 4 days in a row. Be amazed if it continues, this week is crazy busy!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Humility Hurts

I just read Anne Jackson's post about Pride and Humility. In it she quotes out of a book she is reading; A Circle of Quiet.

Here is the quote that she quoted:

The Greeks had a word for ultimate self-consciousness which I find illuminating: hubris: pride: pride in the sense of putting oneself in the center of the universe. The strange and terrible thing is that this kind of total self-consciousness invariably ends in self-annihilation. The great tragedians have always understood this, from Sophocles to Shakespeare. We witness it in history in such people as Tiberius, Eva Peròn, Hitler.

I was timid about putting forth most of these thoughts, but this kind of timidity is itself a form of pride. The moment that humility becomes self-conscious, it becomes hubris. One cannot be humble and aware of oneself at the same time. Therefore, the act of creating – painting a picture, singing a song, writing a story – is a humble act? This was a new thought to me. Humility is throwing oneself away in complete concentration on something or someone else.


I am thinking WOW! Humility is throwing oneself away in complete concentration on something or someone else! Amazing, and I think....What if we all did that? What if we all threw ourselves away on our gifts, or serving others, or even better yet: God! What if we all lived out humility the way it is talked about here! Whoa wait, what if I lived it out? How would my life change??? How would others lives change? What about my relationship with God?

One can not be humble and aware of oneself at the same time!!! Of course we can't be aware of ourselves...that would be PRIDE. This feels like a duh moment for me, so bear with me. Just think about it though. When we are humbled that is when God is apparent. When God is made big, and when He shows His power in our lives. So of course we can't be aware of ourselves, and still see His power!

God has been working on the pride in our home, and teaching us humility. When my husband could no longer work I knew that first day that God would be doing things in our lives that would stretch my faith. I knew that more likely than not it would be hard to take. So I started praying that God would help me to be humble. I have not fully reached that point. I still feel like accepting help is a failure on our part, that it makes me worthless. (Honesty is flowing tonight people~beware!) But I am willing to be open to it, and I definitely see it as God moving, showing His power, and giving His grace. I will take all of His grace I can get. The thing I didn't realize about humility though is this: It hurts. It's really hard. It doesn't feel the way I thought it would. There will always me more to learn...oh did I mention it hurts? Or that it's hard? :D

I'm tried in more ways than one tonight so I'm going to rest in His grace. I just felt like throwing this out there to you. I would love it if you threw your thoughts back.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Because I Love You, Trust Me

Tonight we went swimming. It was a blast!

Of course, God is so amazing He had to use a fun, everyday type thing to teach me a BIG lesson!!

You see, Lily loves the water, and by the time we are ready to leave she thinks she can swim on her own. Yet, when we begin swimming she always freaks out that something will happen to her, and therefore she screams. Tonight was no different we took her out and she loved it, floating around in her life vest. Then it came time to put her just a few feet away, and let her kick to me. Good practice, right? :) Anyway, the thing that really struck me was her response. She of course kicked, and screamed, and panicked, and came straight into my arms. Then she said, "Mommy don't let go of me again! I'm scared!" She had never vocalized how she felt, although it was always apparent. I told her that I needed to let go of her so that she could learn to do it on her own. She repeated herself, "Mommy don't let go of me again! I'm scared!"

That is when it really hit me. We are like that with God! We say no I don't want to let go of what I know, what is comfortable, normal, safe, or trustworthy to us! We don't want to step outside of what we know we can hang on to for safety (be it mental, spiritual, or physical). I know there are so many safety nets in my life!!!
Then came the real kicker.... I took her back out a ways, and I said to her, "Lily, I love you. Because I love you, you have to trust me, you will be ok. You may be scared but I will be right here. All you have to do is come toward me, and you will be safe." She calmed down, I let go, and she kicked right to me. Here is my major "smacked up side the head" moment. God does the same thing with us! He makes us, in various ways, let go of what is "safe" to us. He draws us out of our comfortable place into the water, then says, "Ok, now trust me. But, don't just trust me for the heck of it, trust me because I love you. Know that you will be scared, and that's ok. All you have to do is swim straight to me, and you will be safe. I will take care of you, and I will be right here because of my love for you.

I cannot imagine putting Lily in the water and leaving her to flail around. I have to be there. I have to let her go under the water, but also I have to keep her safe. I needed her to know that her safety was not in staying on the shore, but in knowing that I love her so much that I would be right there. That she may be scared, but that she would be ok if she trusted me. Father is just the same with us!

Trust is a big issue with me, and God is wildly testing that these days. I'm sure I will forget this tiny lesson, and need to be reminded over and over again. I am very thankful for tonight's Ah Ha moment though.

Friday, July 16, 2010

God is Stirring, but I Can't Focus!

God is stirring my life up. He is stirring my heart. It's amazing how you can be hit with the same thing from every angle when God is trying to share it with you.

I currently have a whiteboard in my home with a list of topics I want to post about. There are eight things on that list, and several more in my head. Yet, there is no focus in there to tell you about all things on my heart. I sat here at my computer for over an hour last night just trying to get my thoughts collected so I could write. It didn't work. So for now I will give you a post of randomness, and perhaps that will clear my head.

Brian has been off work for almost two months now. He separated his shoulder. How? you say. I have no idea. There are things that are suspect but nothing that flips the light switch on! So, we have not had an income for most of this time. AH! God is teaching me, and prodding me to trusting him more and more. He knew it would have to be something big to work on my trust issues. But seriously, I'm ready for this training session to end!

Lily is more fun, and bold, and challenging :) everyday. She is growing, and learning, and testing her limits. Yay! She is more and more of a little girl and less of my baby every day. :( Sometimes I think she is just to smart for me, and I become baffled every time she tries to reason with me. I try to use the bible to instruct her when she is doing wrong, and she has started to turn it back on me. Yikes!

My days are different now. With my husband home, and my daughter needing more of me I struggle with routine, and grasping a normal day. As I write this, I am also trying to tune out the fact that I no longer have my quite days. I have a husband who likes to fill silence (tv, xbox, music, idol chatter) and a daughter that is very much off her routine as well. I do my work when I can, but I feel counteracted. I think, pray, read, and write when I can. Not often.

Although, we had a week with out internet, and it turned out to be a blessing. I spent that time catching up on reading. I still have about 10 books left in my pile, but I got 3 down in that week!

Today, we are going to meet friends for an evening at the pond, a bonfire, and a picnic. Relaxing! So I should really be preparing for that. I wish I could focus more. I wish I could share my thoughts, and all God is teaching with you more clearly. Soon. I hope.

Psalm 118:28 You are my God, and I will give you thanks

Psalm 37:7 Rest in Jehorah and wait patiently for Him. Do not fret...

Monday, June 21, 2010

Growing and Giving-A Legacy


Two months ago I went with my mother and grandmother 45 minutes south to visit my grandparents on my dad's side. They haven't been well for quite some time, and we wanted to see them. I went with an additional reason. Rhubarb was in season, and I had a craving! My grandparents are the only ones I know that grow it to it give away, and I was so blessed for it! They don't really cook anymore, and could have gotten rid of it. Yet they kept it, to give.

I looked around their property as they pointed things out. The onions they still grew. The sage was coming up too. The fish, and forget-me-not pond. The flowers that were everywhere. My grandparents grew. It's what they did most of their life. On their property. In their home. In their greenhouse. In their flower shop. They grew and gave. They still do.

It was right about the time that I was enjoying, and feeling blessed by all they grew that I realized not to long from now, sooner than I can imagine it would all be gone. My grandparents would be gone. I started thinking when that happens who will grow and give? My whole family has lived off the things they grew. A garden when I was young supplied us with veggies. At some point every year my mother has gotten flowers. I have made pies with the fruit. Aunts, cousins, and neighbors have all been blessed. Who would continue? Who would carry this blessing on?

I then realized that this was part of their legacy. They grew and gave. This is what has been handed down through generations. This is what was taught to my Dad, Aunts, Uncles, and even me. To grow. To give. This is how they showed love. They fed the hungry with their produce, and gave beauty to the weary with their flowers. They love. What an amazing legacy. What an honor!

I already grow sad for the day when I can no longer go to them for their love. Both love in life, and love in what they grow and give.

I wondered too as I stood there, what would my legacy be? Would I one day grow and give also? There is no one else in the family to get Rhubarb from. Would I show love in such a simple and beautiful way? Would I be remembered by my grandchildren for all that I did with creation? No matter what my legacy is, I hope that one day it means as much to my family as my grandparents legacy means to me. Thank you Grandma, and Grandpa Bocko for growing and giving your love.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Linking Up



These are some posts that have really spoken to me lately, or were just plain fun! I thought they might encourage some of you, so I have linked them up here:

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes is based on the children's song, but is very convicting on an adult level! She gives you verses to tell you what God says about all your many parts :)

Scrambling for Garbage will really make you step back and take a look at what you are feeding yourself in a spiritual way. I was repulsed to think of all that I feed myself while calling it food!

Completing Him Challenge Want to bless your husbands? Here is a fun post with different projects to bless him. I know that there are many programs out there for blessing your man. I just finished a fairly popular one, but ladies this looks fun!

Speed Praying Do we pray to fast? I really had to stop and think about this one!

Making your own Mayonnaise So I haven't tried this yet, but I totally want to~I think.

Matter of the Heart Some wisdom from a dear friend of mine!

Reusable Straws They are glass people! How fun is that? I love these...wish I had some!

Ok, I think I am off to watch a movie with my hubby. Hope you all have a blessed day!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

My Day In Pictures

1. I read a few pages in a new interesting book. Check it out.

2. I watched my beautiful daughter do some dishes. Although more water ended up on her and the floor than anywhere else.


3. I organized sidewalk chalk. Fun feat I tell you!


4. Then I read blogs.


5. Then we listened to Pandora while finishing the cleaning.

6. Also we played with play dough. :)


7. We got to hang out with this guy....and his brother for the night.
8. Then came dinner! Corn on the cob, sweet potatoes, meatloaf, and watermelon! YUM!!
9. Then there was some climbing time :) from this little guy!

10. Then came some cuddling with "Uncle" Brian.....all that climbing must have been hard work!
11. Finger Painting! Need I say more???
12. Then time for some sleep. I love how he still holds his bottle even when he is pretty much out!

That's about all I have. So now I am off to rest myself!