The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
I am discouraged, and I am a little afraid. Lily had a WIC appointment today. She was weighed and measured. In the past she has been on the kind of small side. I have noticed recently that she still seems to be small compared to others (I know we shouldn't compare our kids). Especially in the height department. I have also noticed her face has been filling out, and she seems to be adding on a bit of chunk. Only once have they mentioned her weight creeping up being a concern, and it was quickly dismissed because of her height. Today, that was not the case. She is short at 38 1/2 inches(15% on the charts)-the same at she was 6 months ago. Since then though she has put on more weight and is now 39 pounds(96% on the charts). Her height and weight are almost the same number. She was red flagged in their system for being overweight. I was distressed! They talked to us about the food we eat at home. About not keeping to many candies, and chips and cookies on hand. They talked about making sure that she is an active child, and maybe not too much tv.
I know all of this. I try to put into practice all of this. Does she watch to much tv; yes. Does she eat junk food; occasionally. Is she active; yes, I think so. We try so hard in our home to watch what we are doing to our bodies. We try to eat healthy foods, and I would say we succeed at least 80% of the time. We try to make sure that we are staying active, even in a small space.
My husband and I are both overweight. I'm not talking just a little, I'm talking morbidly obese. It is hard. It hurts. It is a constant struggle. I try everyday to make good choices for myself and my family. My husband has had a life long battle, starting at a young age with bad habits. I didn't have any problems with my weight until my mid teens when I developed PCOS. Since then, I crawl in my skin everyday with the torture of being overweight. I have always had a fear that my daughter would have the same struggle, and now here it is starting me in the face.
She is only 4 years old, and yet I am scared for the rest of her life. I know that we are not supposed to live in fear. I also don't know how to help her. I am already trying so hard. So here I am again. Looking over our menus trying to figure out what I am doing wrong. Trying to figure out what I can change, and wondering how I can get my baby healthy, and teach her to stay that way. She is at high risk for also developing PCOS and that scares me, but I know that if she starts out young, and overweight her chances go up. So here I go again. Back to the place I always go; to God for peace, and to my books for knowledge. I need to find a way to help her. I don't want her to have the lifelong struggle that I have had. I know that many people have told me not to worry about her weight because she is young, and it will work itself out. Now I am being faced with the actual label of "OVERWEIGHT" and I do feel like I should be doing something before that label results in other labels (pcos, diabetic, or the more horrible one: fat)
So now that I have written a very small portion of my panic away.....I'm going to look at my menu again, reread some books, again....and to sit with the Father.