I have wanted to post for days. I have something on my heart that means a lot to me. I want to share it. I am crazy busy this week. Unfortunately something ( or several somethings) are going to have to go.....blogging may be one of those somethings. So while I am going to try and get back here in the next day or two, I can't promise.
In the mean time, check out this cutie: Joshua. He has autism and this week there is a benefit in his honor to raise money for a service dog for him. (Which is what has me crazy busy!)
Come on out if you can:
Friday Night
5pm to 9pm
Goshen Theater
216 S. Main st., Goshen
Deserts, Coffee, and a Silent Auction!
To read more about this fun night visit my friend Rachel's blog.
Hope to be back soon to share my heart with you!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Letting Go
My day has been themed. Let go....Heal
I have been in grief all day. Late last night I was hurt deeply. Over and over. It was all relationship hurts. I was to blame. It was rejection. I didn't understand why. It was a feeling of being discarded. My heart bleed. I cried into my pillow for what seemed like hours. My husband lay beside me, telling me it wasn't my fault. I have been hurt many times in relationships. You have too, I know.
I felt withdraw. I felt like closing up. I felt a need to grab my Savior's robes, and cry into his chest, and hold on so tight that I couldn't let go.
The hurt is still there. I have spent the day in quiet. Just me, and my little girl. I have refused to do anything with anyone today. I told people no, feeling guilty about it, but knowing that I needed to let God take care of me today. That I needed time with Him, and time alone, and time to just be, to heal. I decided today needed to be low key. Healing, reading His words, clinging, and resting. I didn't know that God would be telling me to let go. It's so hard.
Let go....of the pain, the unforgiveness, control. Let go how others see me. Let go of me, and clinging to Him.
Just be in the calm of the day ( I have so few of those) and lean on the one who heals. That is what I am working on today.
Part of me would love to withdraw forever. That's the kind of person I am. That is not what God is calling me to do. So tomorrow I return back to my busy life. Three things already planned for the day! But today I am working on letting go.
*Side Note* I am loving this song. I just found it today, doesn't it speak so loudly???
I have been in grief all day. Late last night I was hurt deeply. Over and over. It was all relationship hurts. I was to blame. It was rejection. I didn't understand why. It was a feeling of being discarded. My heart bleed. I cried into my pillow for what seemed like hours. My husband lay beside me, telling me it wasn't my fault. I have been hurt many times in relationships. You have too, I know.
I felt withdraw. I felt like closing up. I felt a need to grab my Savior's robes, and cry into his chest, and hold on so tight that I couldn't let go.
The hurt is still there. I have spent the day in quiet. Just me, and my little girl. I have refused to do anything with anyone today. I told people no, feeling guilty about it, but knowing that I needed to let God take care of me today. That I needed time with Him, and time alone, and time to just be, to heal. I decided today needed to be low key. Healing, reading His words, clinging, and resting. I didn't know that God would be telling me to let go. It's so hard.
Let go....of the pain, the unforgiveness, control. Let go how others see me. Let go of me, and clinging to Him.
Just be in the calm of the day ( I have so few of those) and lean on the one who heals. That is what I am working on today.
Part of me would love to withdraw forever. That's the kind of person I am. That is not what God is calling me to do. So tomorrow I return back to my busy life. Three things already planned for the day! But today I am working on letting go.
*Side Note* I am loving this song. I just found it today, doesn't it speak so loudly???
Thursday, September 9, 2010
What God Has Given Me
These next few weeks are full. Not that they are ever empty, but there seems to be a lot more going on than normal.
In just three short week our church is hosting a desert and coffee fundraiser with a silent auction. I have been asked to knit fingerless gloves (and possibly scarves) in addition to making a few gratitude journals. These are all items that I would like to get made to start my own Etsy shop . So I am hoping to get extra's made and the shop opened during the next few weeks as well. I only have two weeks to complete the projects for the auction. The third week will be needed for baking as I am also baking a portion of the deserts for the benefit. Fun, fun, fun. I have worked on several fundraisers in the last few years. Some have been more stressful that others, but I have always had some fun!
This weekend we have the joy of keeping my best friends boys while she and her hubby get away for a weekend in Chicago!! Sounds great! I love having her boys around. Lily's best friend and stand in brothers (hope it's ok to say that), it's always such sweet thing. The weather has been great these last few days, and if the rain holds off I think we will be outdoors as much as possible. Sat. morning we are hoping to make it to Ted Yoder's concert. Such beautiful sounds he makes with the Hammered Dulcimer.
I have joined an intense study on the kingdom of God. There is more digging in scripture than I have ever seen in a bible study. Great for me, I am loving getting in the word. Not so great for the busy life I lead, but possibly could help me slow down, if I need to take the time to be in the word.
A few days ago I was also praying about what God would have me read in His word next (during my own quiet time) He very clearly prompted me to read through Psalms. Later that day my hubby was sitting on the bed reading the word, and so I asked him where he was reading. Lo and behold: God told him to read Psalms too! I have really felt the spirit prompt me to read it over the next few weeks. So I have added 11 chapters of Psalm reading to my daily life :D Love it!
I am also really trying to buckle down and loose a few more pounds. I have been working out for what seems like ages! Watching what I eat, and changing portions, and how many servings of each food group I get in a day. It is only barely working. While I have lost a few pounds this year (25-30) it just doesn't show!!! I want to feel it, I want it to show, I want to have to pull out clothes in smaller sizes! So far that has not happened. So I am trying AGAIN to revamp my ways of eating, my ways of working out, and my ways of living. I know that hormones have a lot to do with my weight struggles. I have been wondering how much my stress and busyness has played a part in that. So a weight loss goal is becoming: breath, slow down, eliminate stress!
Well, there are so many other things going on in the next few weeks. So many things God is using to challenge me, and so many things that I am dreaming about. Unfortunately, I need to end this post for now, and get back to my daughter. Lunch~reading~menu planning~meetings....oh so many things.
In just three short week our church is hosting a desert and coffee fundraiser with a silent auction. I have been asked to knit fingerless gloves (and possibly scarves) in addition to making a few gratitude journals. These are all items that I would like to get made to start my own Etsy shop . So I am hoping to get extra's made and the shop opened during the next few weeks as well. I only have two weeks to complete the projects for the auction. The third week will be needed for baking as I am also baking a portion of the deserts for the benefit. Fun, fun, fun. I have worked on several fundraisers in the last few years. Some have been more stressful that others, but I have always had some fun!
This weekend we have the joy of keeping my best friends boys while she and her hubby get away for a weekend in Chicago!! Sounds great! I love having her boys around. Lily's best friend and stand in brothers (hope it's ok to say that), it's always such sweet thing. The weather has been great these last few days, and if the rain holds off I think we will be outdoors as much as possible. Sat. morning we are hoping to make it to Ted Yoder's concert. Such beautiful sounds he makes with the Hammered Dulcimer.
I have joined an intense study on the kingdom of God. There is more digging in scripture than I have ever seen in a bible study. Great for me, I am loving getting in the word. Not so great for the busy life I lead, but possibly could help me slow down, if I need to take the time to be in the word.
A few days ago I was also praying about what God would have me read in His word next (during my own quiet time) He very clearly prompted me to read through Psalms. Later that day my hubby was sitting on the bed reading the word, and so I asked him where he was reading. Lo and behold: God told him to read Psalms too! I have really felt the spirit prompt me to read it over the next few weeks. So I have added 11 chapters of Psalm reading to my daily life :D Love it!
I am also really trying to buckle down and loose a few more pounds. I have been working out for what seems like ages! Watching what I eat, and changing portions, and how many servings of each food group I get in a day. It is only barely working. While I have lost a few pounds this year (25-30) it just doesn't show!!! I want to feel it, I want it to show, I want to have to pull out clothes in smaller sizes! So far that has not happened. So I am trying AGAIN to revamp my ways of eating, my ways of working out, and my ways of living. I know that hormones have a lot to do with my weight struggles. I have been wondering how much my stress and busyness has played a part in that. So a weight loss goal is becoming: breath, slow down, eliminate stress!
Well, there are so many other things going on in the next few weeks. So many things God is using to challenge me, and so many things that I am dreaming about. Unfortunately, I need to end this post for now, and get back to my daughter. Lunch~reading~menu planning~meetings....oh so many things.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Fall, I Have Missed You
I have of course been unofficially craving these things for weeks now!! I am so happy this time of year is approaching. It is my favorite, and I think I could live in it at least 8 months out of the year! I am anxiously awaiting all the things I love about fall, and now I am becoming more impatient as it draws near.
I just bought my daughters winter wardrobe, and can't wait to see her in it! To cuddle on the couch with hot cocoa, and books. Doesn't my life just sound divine? :D Ah....fall....*sigh*
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