A fool vents all his feelings but a wise man holds them back. Proverbs 29:11
Yikes! I am such a fool. So many times I vent!
Yet right now I am looking close at this verse, and it does not say that the wise man holds them in, he just holds them back. I think there is a difference. Holding in feelings can be a very bad thing. I should know, I became very good at holding in feelings. I could even switch off feelings, make it so I really truly could not access how I was feeling. It hurts you, and makes you angry. It defies the Holy Spirit within you. He is peace.
Holding back, now that is also a very tricky thing.
I think that this means #1 Obviously, you don't vent.
#2 You don't hold on to it. Yup, that would be holding it in.
You forgive, you move on, you don't bring it up. If it's a recurring issue deal with it, then let it go. In order to do this, a release of that feeling is in order~aka~ not holding them in.
As Christian's we are called to deal with our feelings in a Christlike manner. Usually praying. Never in sin, such a gossip-venting. Then let it go. Holding back does not mean holding on to our feelings.
So I guess my paraphrase for this verse would be:
A stupid man reacts, vents, gossips, and holds a grudge. A wise man forgives, lets go, and releases hurt. He holds back the sinful reaction, by responding in a Christ like way.
Just one small note yet,
The amplified says it this way:
A self-confident fool utters all his anger, but a wise man holds it back and stills it.
I love the words; stills it. It makes me think of being still with God. That's just how it should be, for isn't that where we need in order to be to become this wise man?