Friday, March 5, 2010

I Neglect My Child

Time moves very quickly. All my spaces in the day get filled up with cooking, and cleaning, and going places, and then when night hits I am so worn out that I crash on the couch to be mindless. In the mist of my mothering through out the day; the disciplining, and teaching, and feeding, and baths, how often do I hold my child?

This is the question that has been on my mind this week. How often do I hold her? How often do I just sit, and talk with her? How often do I hear her heart? Am I missing my child?

Monday was busy as always. We did some running around, some baking and picking up the house, some rest because I was feeling sickish. I went to "girls night", and when I came home, she was still awake. That beautiful, energetic little girl of mine. She wanted me, so I got her out of bed, and went to the couch. That's when I realized, I had totally missed her today. I was with her all day long, and yet I couldn't remember one time that I had talked to her. I had not fully focused on her, looking her in the eyes, holding her close, listening only to her. I had been so caught up in the day, and going from one thing to the next, that I missed seeing her, hearing her, loving on her.

She of course knows that I love her. I, of course, had heard her though out the day, and we had conversations, but I had not really talked with her. I had seen her, I did her hair, pulled her in and out of the car, she was around me the whole time I cooked and cleaned, but I had not really looked at her. I had not really spent one on one time with her. I had not really seen, or heard my child. As I thought about it more, I realized that I rarely do. I rarely take the time to focus only on her. I have become so good at multi-tasking that I multi-tasked my daughter right into my day, instead of taking time to focus on her.

This realization made me so sad. I felt like I had neglected my little girl. I felt like I had failed her. I thought about how I would feel if my heavenly Daddy had went about His day so busy that I was part of the background, and He didn't really listen to, or see me. I wondered how many times do I put Him in the background and not in focus??? (Scary thought!)

Then I determined to hold my baby every day. To talk to her. To focus on her. I know there will be days I fail, but I know my God can help me. I only get one shot at this thing called "Motherhood". I really want to be the best that I can possibly be. I know you do too.

Maybe this isn't an issue for you. Maybe you spend one on one time with your children every day. That's great! Yet, maybe it's something you struggle with. Maybe it never occurred to you that your child (and you) may need that time. Maybe you keep putting that time off for other things that keep you busy. Maybe you are just moving from one thing to the next, and not really focusing. Baths to storybook, storybook to teeth, teeth to bed....I just wanted to write, and ask you to please keep them in focus. They will be grown before you know it. Enjoy your children, they are such a blessing.

Let's hold each other accountable. Let's love on our babies, and gently remind each other often to do so.