I don't know if I have ever been so sad. I know that I have, but in the sad moments of life doesn't it feel like the worst? A friend is hurting. I have come to love this man. He has been a part of my husbands life for 22 years. They are brother's even though blood would prove otherwise. That in and of it's self is enough to love him. My husband doesn't have very good relationships with most of his family. This man is more family than my husband has ever known. Yet it's more than that. I have known him for about 10 years. We have all suffered a great deal, and walked through so much together. He has always taken care of me and looked out for...I am his "brothers wife" after all. A safe place to talk.
A few weeks ago this friend's dad died. His family came. They were not here for support and help. They hurt him. He has always been used and unwanted by most of the people in his life. His family was the worst. Imagine if not only does your family not want you, but then used you in every way they could because of it. They have always taken every ounce of him that they can, tearing him down, and leaving his heart beaten after every encounter. He could never walk away. He didn't know how to say no. He only knew that they were family, and he would do anything for them because of it. God placed in this man a deep desire to help people. It has brought him so much pain.
He has struggled for years and years with addictions, and self hate. He has always been self destructive but usually keeps control on it. He is a christian man. He could tell you more about the Bible than anyone I know. Oh if this man had a different life he would make an awesome pastor!!! He knows and loves God. He tries (like everyone else) to follow the steps of Jesus. He fails. He falls. He hurts. He stands back up.
Last night he could not stand back up. He hurt to much. He talked to my husband. Brian drove an hour to see him. They took a drive. They cried. They hugged. They have never been closer. The hurt is too much for our friend to handle.
He said he was glad that he talked to my husband that night and not me. His reason...because my husband is stronger than I am, and would handle what he had to say better. I think he knows I would have tried to reason logic into him before accepting what he had to say. (Not saying that my husband didn't throw God's word at him a few times.) When it comes down to losing someone I love...he is right, Brian is stronger. I cried just listening to my husband talk about the night.
There is so much I cannot tell you. So much that is privet and personal. I will tell you this. Our family. My husband, myself, my daughter. We love and care about this man. He is hurting. I don't know if I have ever seen someone in so much emotional distress, and that is saying a lot. I am pleading with you today. Please, please pray for him. He needs to be lifted up to God. We, all of us, are his brothers and sisters. Please take him to God today. Please also pray for us. The choices he is making will leave a deep hole in our lives. This sorrow is to much of a burden to carry alone. Please lift some of it for me by praying for him.....
Thank you all so much.