I'm having a hard time trusting God right now. I can't see anything ahead of us, except bad days. I don't understand. I want to know why. I just can't see the end, and am having a hard time with that.
I know he provides, but where is that provision?
I know he is always here, but why am I not comforted?
I know he is in control, so why is my world spinning?
I also know that trusting Him doesn't always make sense. That things can look bleak until the last second, and that sometimes, things don't get better.
I just don't know if I'm strong enough to handle that right now.
I don't know how to have that much faith.
This night looks very long, and dark.
If I took a step back I would probably argue with myself right now. I would probably tell myself that God knows what he is doing, and to trust that.
Please pray, I know truth, it just isn't connecting very well right now.